The Invite I Never Got

You’re scrolling through your Insta feed and you see a picture of your friends that was just posted, but you’re missing, and even worse, you weren’t invited. Immediately a thousand thoughts start filling your mind, and a deep sense of rejection, anger, and hurt wash over you.

It’s that moment you didn’t get put in the group message. It’s the moment you weren’t invited to the hang out, or ever felt included with a certain gang of girls. It’s happened to all of us. We’ve all been there, and the truth is, it's going to happen again. We can't control these situations from occurring, but the one thing we can control is how we react.

A few tips on how to respond:

1. Live from the truth that you are loved, valued, and accepted.

One thing is to know it, but to truly believe it at the core of who you are. You are not the last choice. You are not the default plan. You are God’s first choice. You were bought at a great price. You are not an afterthought in God’s mind. Live from this reality, and not from a place of rejection. Ask God to help you understand and know this truth today.

Live from the truth that you are loved, valued, and accepted.

2. It wasn’t your friend’s intention.

Most of the time when these things happen, it wasn't your friends motive to deliberately reject you or make you feel that way. Plans sometimes accidentally form, and you may not be at the place or time it happens, and that’s okay. You can’t be part of everything. Believe that your friends want to the best for you, and that they would never intentionally do something to hurt you. If that's genuinely not the case, then maybe it's time to start reevaluating the people you allow into your life.

3. Dust it off.

It’s so easy to say “Oh, poor me.” Don’t let it become personal, and don’t take it to heart. It’s going to happen, and this won’t be the first or the last time it does. Jesus said it himself in Luke 17:1,"It is impossible that no offenses should come." We can either allow these offenses to become a source of hurt in our lives or we can choose to shake it off, forgive, and believe the best. Guard your heart with all diligence, and toughen up, baby girl.

It's in these times that Jesus is inviting you to know Him more deeply, and to learn to depend on him on a new level.

4. Get alone with God.

Sometimes its those moments where we feel like we "don't have friends", where God is trying to tell us that He wants us to Himself. Being alone and being lonely are not the same thing. YOU are never alone because God is always with you, but He will position you in seasons where you're not surrounded by people. It's in these times that Jesus is inviting you to know Him more deeply, and to learn to depend on him on a new level. Learn to get away with Him, and learn to process your hurt with Him. Ask Him to search your heart for any signs of offense that you may carry towards a friend who you feel rejected you. Seek out His heart for you. When you seek, you will find. He is faithful to reveal Himself to you and He will give you a heart for people, even when they hurt you. The "hidden" places breed intimacy with God. Don't miss out on those opportunities.

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13

"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24

With all this being said, we are to challenging ourselves and you to be the all inclusive girl.

Be the all inclusive girl

Don’t be petty. Despite how you were treated, continue to be the girl who invites everyone, includes everyone, and who never purposefully makes a friend feel left out. Love your hardest even when you’re not loved. Give your best even when others don’t give you their best.

"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21

You are invited!

We are inviting you to Babes and Bacon- a monthly brunch hosted by the Everyday Girls! We want to get to know you, and to encourage you in whatever season you may be in. It will be a time of celebrating one another, building friendship, and just having a good ole time. We say it over again and again, but no one is meant to do life alone. So join us for our Christmas themed brunch, December 21. Subscribe to our email to get your official invite!

XOXO,

Dezzy & Yazzy