Cultivating Friendships, pt. 2

Friends. They may come and go, but they are in our lives for a God-given reason and they can impact our decisions, belief systems, and our actions. Jesus, who was known by many and loved and hated all the same, had his twelve closest disciples. He did life with them, and he even counted on them.

Who are your people? It starts with identifying the friends who are in your inner circle. This number should be small, as not everyone earns the right to hold this position in your life. Who are the friends that you encourage, but they might not necessarily have that place with you? Let’s get intentional about knowing who is part of our lives. Think about these people and write it down. The friends we have are so important to our heart health, but the type of friend we are is even more important.

Be honest in answering this: How are you caring for the people who are in your life? Many times, we neglect those who are closest to us by not watching out for them. A garden doesn’t simply exist to serve the gardener, it first needs to be tended to and taken care of in order for the gardener to reap its benefits. The people in your life are there for a purpose, and it is your responsibility to care for them. You can start by:

1. Pray for your friends

Everything Jesus did was fueled through His relationship with God. Jesus lifted the friends God gave Him in prayer, and He even set the example for how believers should pray.

It’s a simple thing really. When is the last time you talked to God about your people? How often do you ask them how they are truly doing? Do you know what they are contending for in this season, and do you partner with them in prayer? There are so many opportunities throughout the day that we can do this, such as in the mornings while we are getting ready, commutes to and from work, or even 5-10 minutes of our lunch break.

2. Speak truth to your friends

Jesus set the example perfectly. He did not sugar coat or aim to please people. He spoke the truth, and the truth he spoke offended many. He came to set a higher standard for his followers, and He came to challenge belief systems. The disciples friendship with Jesus changed their lives. They were transformed from being ordinary fishermen and tax collectors to ones who had the ability to speak the truth of God’s word and change the lives of others, just as their lives were changed.

Whether your friends have a relationship with God or not, it is your responsibility to speak the truth of His word in their lives and to hold them accountable. Have like minded people in your garden who speak life into you, challenge you, and hold you to a higher standard. Friends are not merely meant to agree with everything you do, but they should desire to see you walk in the fullness of God’s purpose for your life. If your friends are not challenging you, then it is time to evaluate who is in your inner circle. Do you challenge your friends and hold them to a higher standard? Find out what their purpose and dreams are, and begin to encourage them to build disciplines and to think thoughts that will help them achieve their goals.

3. Be loyal to your friends

At the climax of Jesus life, when he would soon be betrayed by one of His closest friends and disciple, He went to the garden to pray, taking Peter, Jacob, and John. Jesus was ‘overwhelmed and crushed with grief’ at the events that would soon unfold, and he simply requested the three to watch and pray with Him. Twice he returned to find his disciples sleeping in his hour of greatest need, and, directly after, he was deceived and abandoned by his inner circle. Yet he still loved. Despite knowing the events that would happen, he was still loyal and faithful to his twelve, and he modeled the perfect example of a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Be watchful and diligent with your people. A garden sees bountiful seasons as well as dry seasons. Ask yourself: are you a friend who storms the weather with others? Are you there in the good and the bad? Would you sacrifice your joy and happiness to mourn or grieve with a friend? Will you meet them where they are? We are imperfect humans, and it is a given that we will hurt others, but in the midst of this, choose to be someone who forgives quickly and who allows love to cover all wrongs.

4. Be a champion for your friends

The moment Jesus twelve met Him, the course of their lives were changed. Their names changed, their professions changed, and their beliefs were transformed. They learned their true identity and the purposes and dreams that God had intended for them. Jesus helped them realize this, and he celebrated who they would become. He encouraged the light within us, and he urged us to let it shine like a city on a hill. He never compared, and He never aimed to silence the greatness in His disciples.

Don’t be selfish. Don’t look out only for your own interests. Celebrate your friends. Celebrate them in their seasons of success, even if they are seeing success in areas you are not. Help them pursue their dreams. Be there to support and push them forward. Don’t be someone who silences the greatness in others so only yours can be seen, but encourage their light and their God-given purposes.

We all have dreams of making an impact on this world, but we neglect the people in our own lives. It starts with making sure our community is healthy and thriving. It begins with the small circles we have, and making a difference in one life at a time. If we tend to our friendships in this manner, there will be healthier and more wholesome people who will model the same example. Our prayer is that your garden would be thriving and full of life. That love and forgiveness would be abundant, and that you would model the life of Jesus in everything you do.

xoxo,

The Everyday Girls